I Gotta Be Me

I Gotta Be Me                                                    

             

"Be yourself. The world worships the original" -- Ingrid Bergman

This is my entry for Paint Party Friday. The Muse had some fun this week! We really loosened up and decided to do a painting on old book pages. I was inspired after seeing Rabbit's painting a couple of weeks ago using that technique. I also wanted to use my Inktense pencils along with the acrylics. So this week was all about experimenting. After it was all over, this gal emerged. She had a little attitude and I liked that. She just seemed to be saying, "Here I am. Take it or leave it. But this is me." And that's kind of how I've been feeling lately. So, I left it at that. ;)

Be sure to check out all the other entries for Paint Party Friday at the link. There is a great mix of artists who join in each week. It usually takes me a few days to make my way through the list but it's worth it.

Fly

Strange that the Muse would want to make this. I'm terrified of flying. If you know me at all, you're very aware of this. But all things birds, wings, etc. have been an obsession lately and this one came tumbling out onto the page. My VERY good friend Rabbit introduced me to the group Nickel Creek a while back and I fell in love with them. Of course by the time I discover them, they are no longer together. But I did manage to get a hold of a CD loaded with their best songs. This song is one of my faves and I think it kind of fits the flying theme here:

Scream

"And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?"

-- 4 Non Blondes

Do you ever have one of those days? At least the image transfer worked! That's already an improvement... 

I hope your day is going better!  ;)

A Turbulent Girl

"And there's a

turbulent moon-ridden girl

or old woman, or both,

dressed in opals and rags, feathers

and torn taffeta,

who knows strange songs

but she is not kind."

--from In Mind by Denise Levertov

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I've been working on it all week. I could not get this poem by Levertov out of my head, particularly this verse. Once again I've done a mixed media piece. This is on a 12" x 12" panel. It's close to what I had in mind. This girl has been haunting me for a while now so I had to get her out of my head.

The painting is inspired by the poem In Mind by Denise Levertov. The beginning of the poem talks about a different type of woman. One who is "fair-featured...very clean without ostentation." Well, I wasn't feeling much from that. But I LOVE the poem. After I read the part of the poem that I reference above, I started to get another picture in my head and that is what haunted me.

I've had a few reference photos in my files for possible "models" to use for my turbulent girl. I didn't want a pretty girl. I wanted someone who "is not kind" as the poem says. Someone you would probably avoid if you saw on the street. She and I have been wrestling all week...anyway, I think I finally have her out of my system. Now maybe I can move on to other things.  ;)

The Cave: Journal Page

Still working through the classes in 21 Secrets. I was particularly drawn to the class called Me and My Shadow taught by Violette. This one explores the darker side of our personality; those traits we don't always like to acknowledge. Seems perfect for me this week. I really enjoyed it. She had this quote at the beginning and it stuck with me. I think I'll be keeping it for future reference. ;)

Reflection

"Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.

And gave it up. And took my old body

and went out into the morning,

and sang."

--from "I Worried" by Mary Oliver

The Ledge

Ledge

by Kay Ryan

Birds that love

high trees

and winds

and riding

flailing branches

hate ledges

as gripless

and narrow,

so that a tail

is not just

no advantage

but ridiculous,

mashed vertical

against the wall.

You will have

seen the way

a bird who falls

on skimpy places

lifts into the air

again in seconds --

a gift denied

the rest of us

when our portion

isn't generous.

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I tried a new technique that involved LIGHT molding paste; something I've never used before. I loved the results it gave for the background. Unfortunately when you add water it reactivates the paste. I don't think that is true with regular molding paste.  Anyway, I wasn't familiar enough with the medium to paint over top of it without "messing up" my background once I had it the way I liked it, so I had to improvise. I painted my bird on watercolor paper and collaged both the bird and the branch. So this week it's a mixed media piece! Be sure to check out the other artists tomorrow. The entries grow each week and there are some awesome artists out there!  ;)

Blackbird

For Micael -- Love You.

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I'm early two weeks in a row! :) This is for a very special friend who has inspired me in more ways than I can ever begin to name. Here are the song and lyrics by Alter Bridge that also helped inspire the painting:

Blackbird

The willow it weeps today
A breeze from the distance is calling your name
Unfurl your black wings and wait
Across the horizon it's coming to sweep you away
It's coming to sweep you away

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

The fragile cannot endure
The wrecked and the jaded a place so impure
The static of this cruel world
Cause some birds to fly long before they've seen their day
Long before they've seen their day

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again

Ascend, may you find no resistance
Know that you made such a difference
All you leave behind will live to the end
The cycle of suffering goes on
But memories of you stay strong
Someday I too will fly and find you again

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again
May you never be broken again

First Things

Seeing For A Moment

I thought I was growing wings --

it was a cocoon.

I thought, now is the time to step

into the fire -

it was deep water.

Eschatology is a word I learned

as a child: the study of Last Things;

facing my mirror -- no longer young,

the news -- always of death,

the dogs -- rising from sleep and clamoring

and howling, howling,

nevertheless

I see for a  moment

that's not it: it is

the First Things.

Word after word

floats through the glass.

Towards me.

-- Denise Levertov

I love that poem! I've started a new class called 21 Secrets. It's an art journaling class offered by Dirty Footprints Studios. There are 21 different instructors with 21 different classes. It's pretty overwhelming right now but you have until August to work your way through everything. I chose to start with the abstract class (can you tell?) taught by Connie Hozvicka. It's just a lot of fun working with a BIG canvas! :) So I thought I'd share my first go at playing big. This is on an 18" x 24" sheet of watercolor paper. I usually work in a smaller art journal. This was a stretch for me. Literally. ;)

What I like about journaling is that it's about the PROCESS and not about the PRODUCT. They stress that in these classes, too. So you can play, meditate and let whatever you're feeling just flow onto your page. That's the whole idea. ;)

I'm sure there will be pages from other classes that I'll share throughout the weeks ahead. Next up are  child's play,  poetry themed and self-portrait themed classes. We shall see what develops...