Pam T's Art Loft

Fly Away

2012-01-28T16:46:00.000-05:00

I'm experimenting with new mediums. This painting is done with watercolors and gouache. The song is how I feel lately. I guess it came through on the painting... ;-)

Gray Skies: Journal Page

2012-01-22T17:01:00.000-05:00

I've been fighting migraines all week and haven't been able to work in my studio as much as I would like. I've had my art journal at my side, though, and a few of my inks and other supplies (still using up that fabric remnant!). This page emerged today. Not a happy one but they can't all be sunshine!

I'm also anxious to get back to Misty Mawn's workshop. *sigh* Hopefully the migraines will leave me be for awhile. Enough already! :( I hope YOUR weekend is going much better!

Heartfelt: Journal Page

2012-01-17T14:33:00.001-05:00

"There are places in the heart that do not yet exist;

suffering has to enter in for them to come to be."

-- Leon Bloy

I've been working in my art journal this week. I started out with doodling hearts and flowers. This emerged. I felt the urge to get out needle and thread! The striped piece in the background is a fabric remnant. Can't sew very well but for a journal spread it'll do. ;-) I see hearts emerging in my journal a lot lately. Not sure why but I'll go with it; very therapeutic. I saved this quote when I came across it a while back. Now I'm glad I did. I used it on another page. Have a great week everybody!

The Past

2012-01-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

The Past

by Kay Ryan

Sometimes there's

suddenly no way

to get from

one part to

another, as though

the past were

a frozen lake

breaking up. But

not from the

top; not because

it's warmer

up here; it's not.

But from underneath

for some reason --

perhaps some heat

trapped on its own

for so long it's

developed seasons.

I'm taking an awesome workshop with Misty Mawn combining paint, poetry, pastels, sculpting... and that's just in the first week! *sigh* This piece is done with charcoal, pastels and acrylic. I'm having fun experimenting with everything. No expectations when I sit down and sketch; just seeing who or what develops.

Maybe it's because I can't seem to stay warm (I've been bundled up in the house all week fighting off the flu). I thought this looked like a sheet of ice surrounding the face so I went with that. When I found Kay Ryan's poem, it clicked. :)

This is my entry for Paint Party Friday. I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it around to see every one's work last week. It may take a few days but I will be visiting your blogs this week. :)

Changing Direction

2012-01-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

Mysteries, Yes

by Mary Oliver

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous

to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the

mouths of the lambs.

How rivers and stones are forever

in allegiance with gravity

while we ourselves dream of rising.

How two hands touch and the bonds will

never be broken.

How people come, from delight or the

scars of damage,

to the comfort of a poem.

Let me keep my distance, always, from those

who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say

"Look!" and laugh in astonishment,

and bow their heads.

I am trying out some new ideas in my paintings. Thus the title of the post; and it fit the painting as well. ;-) For this new year I thought I'd experiment with some different themes and see where those take me. I'm wanting to grow in all areas of my art and I'm also taking some workshops to help with those goals. This is also my entry for Paint Party Friday. It doesn't happen often but I'm a day early!

Crossroads

2012-01-01T17:36:00.000-05:00

"When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

And dreamed of para- para- paradise

...Every time she closed her eyes"

from the song Paradise by Coldplay

May all of your dreams come true in 2012! Happy New Year everybody! I love this song. It's been on my mind a lot and was the inspiration for this painting. If you want to listen to it, I've included it below:

Out of One Comes Many

2011-12-23T14:17:00.000-05:00

These are some of the Christmas gifts I've made for family members over the last week. I've been playing with Ice Resin and bezels. Fun! I love the Ice Resin. It is so clear, it's amazing! With some of the pieces I embedded little watch parts. Others, I just left as is. Sorry my photos are so bad. Here is the second set:

It took quite a few "duds" and these aren't perfect but I'm happy enough with them to give them as gifts. I have a ton of different sized bezels but wanted to start with the bigger ones just to get the practice. I painted a sheet of watercolor paper with some acrylic paint in my favorite colors and started cutting it up for the bezels. Here is what I started with:

So, out of one painting comes many gifts! This is my entry for Paint Party Friday.

I want to wish a Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates the Holiday!

Heal

2011-12-18T16:46:00.000-05:00

I Want

by Mary Oliver

I want to be

in partnership

with the universe

like the tiger lily

poking up

its gorgeous head

among the so-called

useless weeds

in the uncultivated fields

that still abide.

But it's okay

if, after all,

I'm not a lily,

but only grass

in a clutch of curly grass

waving in the wind,

staring sunward: one of those

sweet, abrasive blades.

This is my (late) entry for Paint Party Friday. Check out all of the wonderful entries from the other artists. You won't be disappointed!

I Heart Art...

2011-12-13T11:01:00.000-05:00

"...We name life

in relation to whatever we step out from when we

open the door, and whatever comes back in on its own."

-- from the poem No Ideas But In Things

by Jessica Greenbaum

This piece is just an exercise in frustration for me. It's what happened after a long day of working on another painting that I was very excited about when I started it. When I came up for air and actually looked at it hours later, I was ... not so much. :( Something happened between the idea I had when I started and the thing that transpired onto the canvas. So I put that away to let it rest for another day. I haven't given up on it but I'm not ready to go back to it right now. *sigh*

Not wanting to leave the studio just yet, I decided to slap some paint down with my hands on some watercolor paper just to see what would come of it. I love to use my hands as a paintbrush when I get into a mood... After a few minutes I thought I saw the outline of a heart and took it from there. Voila. Frustration worked out...

I had a selection of poems on my desk that I have been using for inspiration and the quote I used at the top of the post has really stuck with me. Those are the last lines from the poem and I love them. I'm working on a couple of paintings right now. Hopefully something can be salvaged from one of them.

Turning

2011-12-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

Turning

Going too fast for myself I missed

more than I think I can remember

almost everything it seems sometimes

and yet there are chances that come back

that I did not notice when they stood

where I could have reached out and touched them

this morning the black shepherd dog

still young looking up and saying

Are you ready this time

by W.S. Merwin

I loved this poem when I first read it. It describes perfectly how things have been for me lately. It seems that time keeps getting away from me and I'll just marvel at how much I've missed. I'm trying to make an effort to slow down and appreciate more of the things and people that are important to me. I don't always make much progress but I am definitely becoming more aware.

This is another art journal page and my entry for Paint Party Friday. This was a loose sketch I did one night a while back and I just decided to paint it today. Still loving those watercolors I used in the background.

Another thing I want to try and be better about is visiting all of you more. Thank you all for your wonderful comments on my last post. They helped me more than you know. I look forward to visiting all of your blogs in the coming days! Big Hug to all of you!

I Wish...

2011-11-30T02:43:00.000-05:00

"I'm so tired,

I wish I was the moon tonight..."

Neko Case

Well it's been a while since I posted! I want to thank everyone who has sent emails asking about me. I'm fine. Just a little tired. I've been taking a little time off to visit with family and friends and to hopefully get some inspiration for my art. Now that I'm home and settled back in, I am hoping the time away will bring some energy back. Aren't you supposed to feel MORE rested after a vacation? ;-)

This is a journal page I did while trying out my new watercolors. They are yummy! So that's supposed to be me staring at the moon, waiting for energy and ideas... We'll see if it works. This song keeps playing in the meantime:

Feeling Like Alice...

2011-10-28T14:18:00.000-04:00

"Because it feels like I have just woke up

In a world where down is up

And up is a long way from here..."

Lisa Mitchell, Alice in Wonderland

This just about sums up how I've been feeling lately: upside down! Can't seem to get it together no matter what I do. So I painted a girl with her head all messed up; just like me. ;-) Actually, I do sit with my head tilted like this a lot. Hmmm... could explain a few things.

Anyway, this is my entry for Paint Party Friday. I was also inspired by the song Alice in Wonderland, by Lisa Mitchell. I've included that as well. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I'm off to visit your blogs now! It may take me a few days but I intend to get to you all. Big HUGS!!

Journey

2011-10-25T19:22:00.001-04:00

"...But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world."

from The Journey, by Mary Oliver

I've been inspired by that poem before in my art. It fell out of a folder as I was trying to clean up my studio. LOVE this particular part! I'm also getting ready for another trip back to Ohio in two weeks to visit my friends again before the weather turns bad. This one will be good timing; my sister's birthday will fall during that week. So I'm really looking forward to seeing her again.

I was playing with some new watercolors and came up with this. Watercolors are not my thing but I have some in my supplies and and am giving them a try during Jane Davenport's class. I figured what the heck. :-)

However, I did add acrylics in her face. Couldn't help myself...

Hope you all have a wonderful week! I'm working on something I hope to have finished in time for Paint Party Friday. We shall see...

Circus Girl

2011-10-11T16:23:00.000-04:00

I'm back from vacation and slowly getting settled into my routine. I had a fantastic time visiting with my friends and just soaking up all the fun in my hometown. Of course the time went too fast and I was sad to leave (as always). I'm planning another trip in November so that will keep my spirits up.

Katie Kendrick's class has ended and I really enjoyed it! She's a wonderful teacher and I'm eagerly awaiting her book that is coming out in January (I think). This is a mixed media piece I just finished using a background I did from Katie's class.

I'm also taking a class from Jane Davenport called Supplies Me. It's an awesome class. I confess to buying many art supplies and then once I get them home, I'm not quite sure what to do with them... Jane is an admitted art supply hound and she shows you exactly what to do with all of those supplies!

This week we are experimenting with pastels. I've never used them before so I thought I would try Jane's technique and see if I could do a figure in pastels. This girl just popped up. I've had a poem in my head called The Circus Watcher, by Mary Jo Bang and I was thinking about that as I was sketching, so I guess this is my Circus Girl. ;)

Thank you all for your kind thoughts on my Aunt's passing and on my last painting. They meant very much to me. Big HUG to all of you! I plan on catching up with all of your blogs this week.

Painting a Dream

2011-09-23T15:22:00.000-04:00

I'm really enjoying Katie Kendrick's class, Layered Impressions. One of our assignments was to paint a dream we've had. I sometimes write them down if I remember them but I've never painted one.

My mom is in a lot of my dreams. They aren't necessarily about her but she's in them. Last night she was in another one. I recently lost an aunt who died in a fire. That's been on my mind a lot. In my dream last night all I remember was a room, kind of cave-like, but with couches and rugs, like a living room. Mom was there and she was apologizing for the room being so dark because we were going to read. We used to love to read together. We would have our books and just sit for hours reading. I said it was okay but I remember thinking the room was just too dark.

In our assignment we were to capture the feelings as well as the dream itself. I call this "Turbulence" because of the unrest that I felt when I woke up. I think all of the emotion surrounding the events of the fire plus Mom's presence always with me all came out in the dream. I found it a very healing exercise.

I've been absent from Paint Party Friday for too long and wanted to have something to show today. Check out the other artists who participate. They never disappoint!

Playing With Layered Impressions

2011-09-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

I am taking a wonderful class by Katie Kendrick called Layered Impressions. This painting is from one of the lessons. Hubby says she looks like she's hungover. ;-) I don't know. I kind of like the result. Starting with a found image we were to add our own touches with paint and collage. The goal wasn't to get a realistic face but just to see what the papers and paint were leading us to do. This class is so much fun! Katie has a very laid back teaching style and I love the techniques she's showing us.

Also this week I'm getting ready for my trip home to Ohio to visit with my friends. I'll be leaving next weekend and will be gone for a week or so. I'm really looking forward to that. My knee is still giving me fits but it is trying to heal (slowly).

I'm working on a few other pieces right now and hope to post again before I leave for my trip. Have a great week everyone!

Let It Go

2011-09-13T13:18:00.000-04:00

"And in a burst of light that blinded every angel

As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars

You felt the gravity of tempered grace

Falling into empty space

With no one there to catch you in their arms."

--from "Iridescent", by Linkin Park

I'm often inspired by music and poetry. This song has been playing on my iPod constantly. There has been a lot of frustration for me lately. Maybe it's because the knee is still not completely healed. Sometimes when I'm hurt or sick, little things will often become magnified. Aarrgghhh! Then I find myself having little pity parties. Well, I have to stop that. I have to keep reminding myself that the little things are not worth it and I do need to just let them go. Otherwise I let them eat at me and take what little energy I do have. :(

So I went to the canvas and the verse I quoted above really stuck with me. And when I started to paint I just let it ALL go. It felt good! :-) I have these gold mica flakes that I love to use for special effects. They don't show up very well in the photo but on the canvas they really shine, like little stars. This piece makes me happy. That was my goal when I started, so mission accomplished! Here's the song that started it all. I hope you like it as well as I do:

Playing With Graphite

2011-09-06T22:32:00.000-04:00

After a long, dry spell I'm slowly working my way back into the studio. This was an experiment with graphite powder and acrylics. Fun, but messy. ;-) I'll be doing more with the graphite. I'm still mixing it with other media and playing. I saw these lines in a poem called Statuary by Katherine Larson and was inspired:

"The late cranes throwing

their necks to the wind stay

somewhere between

the place that rain begins

and the place that it ends

they seem to exist just there

above the horizon at least

I only see them that way

tossed up

against the gray October

light ... "

I also took a tumble down the five steps that lead into our garage while I was unloading groceries from the car. Yes, I landed in a big pile on the concrete floor. My knees and wrists took the brunt of the fall so it could have been worse. I'm on the mend now. I haven't fallen in a while. It always scares me when I do. No broken bones, just many bruises and a swollen knee. :(

The Summer stupor has started to wear off and now I'm beginning to feel the energy that always seems to accompany the beginning of Fall. It's about time! I have a few things in the works and hope to have something to share later this week.

Soul Searching

2011-08-25T12:48:00.000-04:00

This is a mixed media piece I did a while back when I first started experimenting with beeswax. It was before I had any of my encaustic equipment. I thought the art papers had a nice aged look and just begged for some wax! I loved the little goddess and had to use her in this piece. The text at the bottom is from an old dictionary and the reference is the soul.

I want to thank you all for your awesome comments and wonderful emails! I truly appreciate it and love hearing from you. I'm sorry I haven't been online as much these past few weeks. I'm trying to get back to a normal schedule. I promise to visit everyone in the next couple of weeks! I've got family visiting this weekend and am stressing about that. I'll be glad when that's over and then I can get back to a normal life, I hope. ;-)

This song has been playing a lot on my play list, soothing my nerves. I hope you enjoy it too. A BIG hug to you all!!

Very Cool Surprise

2011-08-16T10:21:00.001-04:00

What is this, you ask? Well, the folks at CitraSolv asked if they could use my Warhol collage to help promote the use of their product for art. Of course I said yes. Especially when I heard other artists such as Robert Burridge were also included in this little venture. But how were they going to do this?

Voila! Little tags will hang from the bottles showing how you can use CitraSolv in your art! And there is my tag! :-) Have a look inside:

There will be different artist's tags that will hang from the bottles. They will have a little info directing you to the artist's blog or website. How cool is that? And here is the back of the tag:

I was pretty excited to receive my tags in the mail yesterday. It was a very nice pick-me-up! I want to thank Melissa and the folks at CitraSolv for thinking of me!

Reflecting

2011-08-13T13:11:00.000-04:00

If She Only Had One Minute

by Kay Ryan

What would she put in it?

She wouldn't put

she thinks; she would take,

suck it up

like a deep lake --

bloat indiscriminate

on her last instant --

feast on everything she

had released, dismissed, or

pushed away; she would make

room and room as though

her whole life of resistance

had been for this one purpose:

on the last minute of the last day

she would drink and have it; ballooning

like a gravid salmon or the moon.

Another of my favorite poems of Kay Ryan's. *sigh* This is a mixed media piece I did a while back. I'm still digging through some of my older pieces looking for inspiration. I expect that with the coming Fall things will pick up. I am already beginning to feel the stir of excitement in anticipation of the new season. That's when I begin to come alive artistically. For now, I'm just being a little quiet; taking it all in. ;-)

Imprint

2011-08-05T14:36:00.000-04:00

I haven't been very productive lately. I don't know why. I have been taking a little time to energize and hopefully find some inspiration. I'm also planning another trip home to visit my friends in Ohio in a few weeks. That always helps lift my spirits.

This is a mixed media piece put together with a little bit of everything. I found this little scrap of a poem I had written along with it in my unfinished box:

A deep impression

Time washes away the tears

But your mark remains

I was experimenting with rusted elements at the time so it was nice to include those. Digging through this box of unfinished pieces has yielded all sorts of surprises. I hope to be back with some new pieces soon -- and back with regular participation in Paint Party Friday!

Fire and Ice

2011-07-22T18:08:00.000-04:00

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To know that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-- Robert Frost

Maybe it's the HOT weather that influenced this piece. We reached 100 degrees yesterday and it felt like it again today. I was playing with my CitraSolv papers and some alcohol inks and came up with this. Just a little experimenting. My sister is visiting this week so not much art getting done. But we are having a great time. I hope it's not near as hot or humid where you are. Personally, I'm looking forward to Fall (my favorite time of year). Meanwhile, I'm wishing summer would hurry and move on...

The Walk

2011-07-14T15:38:00.000-04:00

The Cold Hill Side

As months and years accumulate,

I miss you more and more.

Forgetting where I put the key,

I sometimes find a door

and other times feel stunned and lost,

though living in my own

body and life, presumably,

bewildered and alone

as the knight, kidnapped and released

to a dim world, who said

And I awoke and found me here

on the cold hill side.

-- Rachel Hadas

I loved that poem when I read it. I keep a box of poems that I come across and from time to time I go through it for inspiration. This one begged for a painting. And I found a new medium to play with: plaster! All sorts of fun to be had there. A new book called Plaster Studio caught my eye:

Who knew you could do so much with plaster? My painting is done on a base of cotton. Then blocks of plaster gauze are cut and adhered to the cotton. After that dries you paint! Easy peasy and so fun. There are more plaster products I want to experiment with. This was my first try since it seemed the easiest place to start.

This is also my entry for Paint Party Friday. I haven't painted any new work for awhile. It felt good being back in the studio making a mess! :) Stop by the party and check out what everyone else has been up to. You won't be disappointed.

Discovery

2011-07-08T11:05:00.000-04:00

This is a piece I did a few years ago when I was experimenting with adding CitraSolv to National Geographic magazine pages. I have a nice stash now and frequently add them to my paintings and collages. Here I've also added some gold leaf along with some copper and bronze pigments. Then I covered the entire canvas in resin. That's the glare you see on the edge of the canvas. After I finished, I thought the round piece looked like it could be a stone. The entire thing reminded me of an excavation site so I named it Discovery.

This week in the Summer of Color we are working with yellow (or shades of it). I hope to have some new pieces to show in the coming weeks. Things are finally slowing down on the landscaping and I'll be able to get back to my painting. ;)

Paint Party Friday

2011-07-01T12:04:00.000-04:00

This is a painting I did early last year in one of Misty Mawn's classes. It was my first attempt at using Shiva Oil Paintstiks. I really liked them! Not at first, but after getting used to how they worked (and with Misty's guidance). Now I use them in my encaustic painting for different effects but they are fun to play with. This is done on watercolor paper. As you can see I did smear a little in the background but I never really painted the background, so technically it isn't finished. Maybe that's why it's still untitled? ;)

Check out all the other entries for Paint Party Friday. There is always a lot of inspiration to be found there. Thank goodness it's raining here today. I get a day off from shoveling gravel! Yay! Hubby picked up another load yesterday so tomorrow I know what I'll be doing...

Hope

2011-06-29T10:49:00.000-04:00

Hope

What's the use

of something

as unstable

and diffuse as hope--

the almost-twin

of making do,

the isotope

of going on:

what isn't in

the envelope

just before

it isn't:

the always tabled

righting of the present.

--Kay Ryan

This is another of my encaustic paintings. It's also my (pink) entry for this week's Summer of Color, although I'm a little late for the party.

We literally had two tons of gravel delivered to the house and are going back for more! So I've been shoveling gravel and doing a lot of work outside. That doesn't leave much time for art at the end of the day. :( I'm finding that I'm not as young as I used to be and when the evening comes I seem to want to just take it easy now (not to mention the sore muscles)! Hopefully this last load will be the end of it and I can get back to my painting. ;)

Shattered Hearts

2011-06-24T12:57:00.002-04:00

"But you cut me quick

In the light of the shade,

On the edge of the green

Of the yard's sharpest blade..."

Sharpest Blade, by Over the Rhine

These are a pair of paintings I did last year. It was when I first started experimenting with encaustic painting. I love this medium! Now that summer's here I have cleared that part of my art room and am eager to start in again. You must have adequate ventilation (open windows and exhaust fan) for the fumes but it's worth it. I've been stockpiling all kinds of new colors of encaustic paint every time I visit Blick Art Supply so we shall see what develops in the coming weeks. I'm still new at it but I'm ready to bring out the torch and see what I can come up with. Don't tell hubby but I've got a new torch, too! I'll be careful not to burn the house down... ;) The first painting is called Shattered Hearts.

The second painting is called Bleeding Hearts. It's done over an old painting I bought at a store and then decided I didn't like so I thought I would just paint my own! ;) So these are my heart paintings for today.

For this week's Paint Party Friday I wanted to contribute something so I thought I would show you a different medium. Be sure to check out all the other entries. There is always a great deal of eye candy there! ;)

Wild Thing

2011-06-20T14:12:00.000-04:00

This week for the Summer of Color challenge we were supposed to work with the color green. Ugh! I had the hardest time with this one. I realized I hardly EVER work with green. I was so tempted to skip this week. But I signed up for this because I wanted to try and work outside of my comfort zone. This is what I came up with. I know, not my normal thing. Ha! At least I did something. I can now move on to next week.

One fun thing: I was able to play with Tyvek! Yay! The crocodile is Tyvek painted black, ironed and then painted again. That's where all of that cool texture came from. So if nothing else I was able to come up with some textures for another piece later on :)

I've been having some computer problems off and on, but all fixed now. For Paint Party Friday people, sorry I wasn't able to get to you before now. I promise to visit your blogs starting today! :)

Sister Love

2011-06-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

Today is my sister's birthday. Yay! So I painted this for her. I call it Sister Love. Happy Birthday, Paula! She's the baby sister. There are five of us (3 girls, 2 boys) and I'm the oldest. She's had a rough year and I wanted to give her something to hopefully make her smile and to tell her how much I love her. Big Hug to you, sis! This will be on it's way as soon as I get it framed. This is also my entry for Paint Party Friday.

I fell in love with all of the techniques for this painting when I saw them in this book:

I LOVE it. So many ideas for mixed media and this painting was only one of them. I highly recommend it.

And Finally, Shayla From The Inexplicable Rabbit nominated me for this:

Thank you so much, Shayla! That's so sweet of you! Please check out Shayla's blog. Her artwork is incredible. I LOVE it! Now technically I'm supposed to name ten things about myself. I will, but at a later date. And as for nominating other bloggers, there are so many of you out there I couldn't possibly narrow it down. I'll just nominate all of the wonderful blogs of Paint Party Friday. THEY deserve it!

Blue Lady

2011-06-13T09:44:00.000-04:00

This is my entry for the Summer of Color this week. Our first color: Blue! We can use any shade, however we like. I decided to do an art journal page. I tend to use a lot of the same colors in my work so this exercise in color each week will help me with that challenge, I think.

I'm excited to see a few familiar faces in the participant list plus it looks like I'll meet a lot of new artists as well. Check it out!

Not Feeling It

2011-06-09T22:41:00.000-04:00

It's Paint Party Friday time again! And you would think this girl would be more excited about it. Especially after I went to all the trouble of hand-piecing her dress (all made from tiny bits of CitraSolv papers glued together)! So when I surprised her with the dress, I had her try it on. You see the reaction I got. She had an attitude from the day I sketched her. You just can't please some people! ;)

Be sure to check out the other PPF entries. You never know what you'll find!

Discovery

2011-06-07T13:04:00.001-04:00

Is it June already? The summer will be here before you know it. I'm always looking for inspiration and signing up for courses is a fun way to start. So this is what I'm excited about now: Yesterday was the beginning of the Summer of Color, hosted by Kristin. Every week there will be a new color to inspire. This week: Blue! (No, the art at the top is not the entry for the week. I have until next Monday to post!) We can work in any medium. I will probably stick with acrylics but I'll see what mood I'm in that week. ;)

Today is the first day for Soul Restoration 2. I LOVED Soul Restoration and was thrilled when they decided to offer a second workshop. So that will definitely keep me busy. And later this month I will be starting the Experimental Art e-course with Amelia Critchlow. I am really looking forward to that!

I hope this will be a summer of discovery. There is a lot of emotional baggage I'm working on unloading and once that is sorted out maybe I'll find my way to where it is I'm trying to go with my art. ;)

Ghosts

2011-06-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

Playing with layers again. Torn papers, tissue paper, collage and paint. Then scratched into the layers after that. Loving the work of Jeanne Bessette lately. Thank you, Micael, for sending me the link! This is my current obsession: figurative abstract. Even hubby likes it! ;) So I may be doing a lot more on this theme. We'll see...

Whisper

2011-06-03T14:38:00.000-04:00

Time for Paint Party Friday again! I've been inspired by the music of A Fine Frenzy lately. Their album One Cell in the Sea has been playing non-stop on my iPod for days. The song Whisper was the inspiration for this little piece. It's done on watercolor paper. I've once again added tons of papers, layers of paint and some image transfers. Be sure to check out the other participants in the party. You won't be disappointed :)

Here is a video of the song if you'd care to listen to it:

Pixie

2011-06-01T10:49:00.001-04:00

This mischievous little creature showed up in my sketchbook last night. She just made me smile. I've been known to cause a little mischief myself so I could totally identify with her. Maybe she's a small part of me, who knows... I rather like her! She's cheered me up a bit. After I sketched and shaded her I scanned the page into Photoshop and added a few digital elements.

Today kicks off 30 Days of Creativity. I try to work in my sketchbook every evening. Sometimes nothing comes of it but other times I am surprised at the ideas for paintings that jump out from the page. So I won't post what I do everyday but periodically I'll check in with what I'm working on. I think it's a great idea and love to see people getting excited about art! How cool is that!

Slant

2011-05-30T16:16:00.000-04:00

Slant

Can or can't you feel

a dominant handedness

behind the randomness

of loss? Does a skew

insinuate into the

visual plane; do

the avenues begin to

strain for the diagonal?

Maybe there is always

this lean, this slight

slant. Maybe always

a little pressure

on the same rein,

a bias cut to everything,

a certain cant

it's better not to name.

-- Kay Ryan

Alone

2011-05-26T20:32:00.000-04:00

Here is my entry for this week's Paint Party Friday. I'm posting it early because I don't know how long I'll be able to access my blog. I've been locked out of Blogger for the past three days. I couldn't access my own blog or comment on anyone else's. That made me very unhappy, cranky and many other things I won't go into... So while I can still sneak in here I am posting now. ;)

This piece has so many layers on it I lost count. Fun! Tissue paper, paint, ink, rub-ons, stamps, everything within reach went onto the canvas. It also helped me to use up some of those supplies I've been neglecting. Make sure to check out all of the other entries at PPF tomorrow. The party seems to get bigger each week!

Suspended Wishes

2011-05-24T12:14:00.002-04:00

Inspired by Misty Mawn's wonderful book, Unfurling.

Mystery Girl

2011-05-20T08:59:00.000-04:00

This is my entry for Paint Party Friday. I missed last week and wanted to try and get back into the groove again. This one started as a sketch on paper and then just went from there. I had these textured papers I made from the 21 Secrets journaling class and decided to work on one of those. It is a recycled magazine page, of all things, with gesso, lots of gel medium, paints, inks and whatever else I could think of added to it.

I call her my Mystery Girl. I'm not sure what to think of her. I can't say I trust her really. Once you start to look at her you get an uneasy vibe. Better trust your first instinct! ;)

Make sure to check out all of the other entries for PPF. You'll find so much talent, inspiration and cool art waiting for you!

Aftershock

2011-05-18T14:25:00.000-04:00

Deferred Silence

by Kay Ryan

There is a

deferred silence

which only follows

a deferred sound.

As when an oak falls

when no one is around.

The violence waits

for someone to approach

to have just stopped.

There is that ozone

freshness to the aftershock.

This painting has been through so many stages I forget what it started as. That's what I love about acrylics. If you don't like it, you can always paint over it. I don't usually paint this big but I'm stretching my wings. ;) It's a 24" x 36" canvas. I like that size for abstracts!

I'm taking some great courses online right now. One that I was really wanting to get caught up on is called Soul Restoration offered through the Brave Girls Club. It has been such a help to me. There will be a Soul Restoration 2 starting in June. You can read more about it at their site. I'm bad about signing up for too many courses at once. Then I panic when I realize I'm behind in them all and they will soon be ending. But this one is really great. Even though the official course is over this week, they give you another four weeks to complete all of the material, watch the videos, etc.

I said that I would show a photo of my easel. Here it is with my painting on it:

I know I said the art room is de-cluttered. And it is...but when I paint I have to put down the canvas tarp (under the easel) to catch all those fun drippies! ;) And you have to excuse the stuff to the side...that's my heat gun, vent fan, etc. for my encaustic station set up just off camera to the right.

So now that I've started to work off some of my aggression on this painting maybe I can work on something a little more pleasant. ;) We'll see what develops. At least I've broken in the easel. Now there's some paint smeared on it!

Finding My Way

2011-05-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

I want to thank ALL OF YOU for your comments from my last post. They really meant a lot to me and I appreciate all of you taking the time to leave such encouraging thoughts. Things are starting to look up.

I spent the weekend de-cluttering my art room. Once again I've gotten it so that I can barely walk in there. Every time this happens I get visions of those TV shows about hoarders. It's not quite that bad but I can see how it happens to people. Anyway, there is another reason I needed to clear some space besides my fear of becoming a hoarder. While on my trip I got a nice, BIG painting easel! It was too big to fit into the car when I bought it at the store (bummer!) so they had to ship it to me. It arrived the day before I got home. Hubby lugged it upstairs and assembled it for me.

So now I can really get busy! And that is just what I plan to do. ;)

Acceptance

2011-05-13T16:57:00.000-04:00

It's Always Darkest Just Before The Dawn

-- Kay Ryan

But how dark

is darkest?

Does it get

jet -- or tar --

black; does it

glint and increase

in hardness

or turn viscous?

Are there stages

of darkness

and chips

to match against

its increments,

holding them

up to our blindness,

estimating when

we'll have the

night behind us?

I'm having to deal with some hard lessons this week. I hope you're having a much better time of it! Hope to be back in the swing of things soon.

Tandem Andy's

2011-05-05T14:48:00.000-04:00

Warhol Collage 9" x 12"

I am on vacation this week so I am posting my Paint Party Friday entry early. Plus, tomorrow will be my birthday and I hope to be out celebrating! I promise to make it to all of the artists' blogs at some point this weekend. I am entering two of my older pieces. I call these my "Tandem Andy's". They are two versions of the same piece. The first one is a collage of Andy Warhol. I used CitraSolv papers and acrylic paint on this painting.

For this second piece I printed the collage out onto silk and adhered it to a 12" x 12" wood panel. Then I painted it with encaustic paints.

I like both versions for different reasons. I like the colors in the CitraSolv papers and the effects they give in the collage. But I really love encaustic paint and the bold colors they brought to the silk. Plus I LOVE the splatter! ;)

Don't forget to check out the other artists at Paint Party Friday. It's always a treat to see what everyone has been up to this week.

Blue Lady: Journal Page

2011-05-01T11:47:00.000-04:00

Things Shouldn't Be So Hard

A life should leave

deep tracks:

ruts where she

went out and back

to get the mail

or move the hose

around the yard;

where she used to

stand before the sink,

a worn-out place;

beneath her hand

the china knobs

rubbed down to

white pastilles;

the switch she

used to feel for

in the dark

almost erased.

Her things should

keep her marks.

The passage

of a life should show;

it should abrade.

And when life stops,

a certain space --

however small --

should be left scarred

by the grand and

damaging parade.

Things shouldn't

be so hard.

-- Kay Ryan

I don't know why this lady ended up so sad. Poor thing. But I felt better after I painted her so maybe she needed to make an appearance. ;)

I'm leaving tomorrow for another trip to Columbus, OH (my real home)! Yay! Going to visit my BFF Sharon for a week (or so...). While I'm there I'll be celebrating my birthday (now I may know where the sad lady came from!), attending a few other festivities, catching up with my sorority sisters, and seeing a few other very good friends. So I'm spending today getting packed and trying not to forget anything. And of course I'm taking my art supplies. On my last trip I took more art supplies than I did clothing! ;) And while I'm there I'll visit the Blick Art Store and see what goodies I can pack into the car trunk...

I Gotta Be Me

2011-04-28T23:23:00.000-04:00

I Gotta Be Me

"Be yourself. The world worships the original" -- Ingrid Bergman

This is my entry for Paint Party Friday. The Muse had some fun this week! We really loosened up and decided to do a painting on old book pages. I was inspired after seeing Rabbit's painting a couple of weeks ago using that technique. I also wanted to use my Inktense pencils along with the acrylics. So this week was all about experimenting. After it was all over, this gal emerged. She had a little attitude and I liked that. She just seemed to be saying, "Here I am. Take it or leave it. But this is me." And that's kind of how I've been feeling lately. So, I left it at that. ;)

Be sure to check out all the other entries for Paint Party Friday at the link. There is a great mix of artists who join in each week. It usually takes me a few days to make my way through the list but it's worth it.

Fly

2011-04-26T13:30:00.001-04:00

Strange that the Muse would want to make this. I'm terrified of flying. If you know me at all, you're very aware of this. But all things birds, wings, etc. have been an obsession lately and this one came tumbling out onto the page. My VERY good friend Rabbit introduced me to the group Nickel Creek a while back and I fell in love with them. Of course by the time I discover them, they are no longer together. But I did manage to get a hold of a CD loaded with their best songs. This song is one of my faves and I think it kind of fits the flying theme here:

Scream

2011-04-23T17:05:00.000-04:00

"And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?"

-- 4 Non Blondes

Do you ever have one of those days? At least the image transfer worked! That's already an improvement...

I hope your day is going better! ;)

A Turbulent Girl

2011-04-22T02:23:00.002-04:00

"And there's a

turbulent moon-ridden girl

or old woman, or both,

dressed in opals and rags, feathers

and torn taffeta,

who knows strange songs

but she is not kind."

--from In Mind by Denise Levertov

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I've been working on it all week. I could not get this poem by Levertov out of my head, particularly this verse. Once again I've done a mixed media piece. This is on a 12" x 12" panel. It's close to what I had in mind. This girl has been haunting me for a while now so I had to get her out of my head.

The painting is inspired by the poem In Mind by Denise Levertov. The beginning of the poem talks about a different type of woman. One who is "fair-featured...very clean without ostentation." Well, I wasn't feeling much from that. But I LOVE the poem. After I read the part of the poem that I reference above, I started to get another picture in my head and that is what haunted me.

I've had a few reference photos in my files for possible "models" to use for my turbulent girl. I didn't want a pretty girl. I wanted someone who "is not kind" as the poem says. Someone you would probably avoid if you saw on the street. She and I have been wrestling all week...anyway, I think I finally have her out of my system. Now maybe I can move on to other things. ;)

The Cave: Journal Page

2011-04-19T21:09:00.000-04:00

Still working through the classes in 21 Secrets. I was particularly drawn to the class called Me and My Shadow taught by Violette. This one explores the darker side of our personality; those traits we don't always like to acknowledge. Seems perfect for me this week. I really enjoyed it. She had this quote at the beginning and it stuck with me. I think I'll be keeping it for future reference. ;)

Reflection

2011-04-16T00:53:00.003-04:00

"Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.

And gave it up. And took my old body

and went out into the morning,

and sang."

--from "I Worried" by Mary Oliver

The Ledge

2011-04-14T16:53:00.001-04:00

Ledge

by Kay Ryan

Birds that love

high trees

and winds

and riding

flailing branches

hate ledges

as gripless

and narrow,

so that a tail

is not just

no advantage

but ridiculous,

mashed vertical

against the wall.

You will have

seen the way

a bird who falls

on skimpy places

lifts into the air

again in seconds --

a gift denied

the rest of us

when our portion

isn't generous.

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I tried a new technique that involved LIGHT molding paste; something I've never used before. I loved the results it gave for the background. Unfortunately when you add water it reactivates the paste. I don't think that is true with regular molding paste. Anyway, I wasn't familiar enough with the medium to paint over top of it without "messing up" my background once I had it the way I liked it, so I had to improvise. I painted my bird on watercolor paper and collaged both the bird and the branch. So this week it's a mixed media piece! Be sure to check out the other artists tomorrow. The entries grow each week and there are some awesome artists out there! ;)

Blackbird

2011-04-07T11:35:00.003-04:00

For Micael -- Love You.

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. I'm early two weeks in a row! :) This is for a very special friend who has inspired me in more ways than I can ever begin to name. Here are the song and lyrics by Alter Bridge that also helped inspire the painting:

Blackbird

The willow it weeps today
A breeze from the distance is calling your name
Unfurl your black wings and wait
Across the horizon it's coming to sweep you away
It's coming to sweep you away

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

The fragile cannot endure
The wrecked and the jaded a place so impure
The static of this cruel world
Cause some birds to fly long before they've seen their day
Long before they've seen their day

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again

Ascend, may you find no resistance
Know that you made such a difference
All you leave behind will live to the end
The cycle of suffering goes on
But memories of you stay strong
Someday I too will fly and find you again

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again
May you never be broken again

First Things

2011-04-04T14:00:00.001-04:00

Seeing For A Moment

I thought I was growing wings --

it was a cocoon.

I thought, now is the time to step

into the fire -

it was deep water.

Eschatology is a word I learned

as a child: the study of Last Things;

facing my mirror -- no longer young,

the news -- always of death,

the dogs -- rising from sleep and clamoring

and howling, howling,

nevertheless

I see for a moment

that's not it: it is

the First Things.

Word after word

floats through the glass.

Towards me.

-- Denise Levertov

I love that poem! I've started a new class called 21 Secrets. It's an art journaling class offered by Dirty Footprints Studios. There are 21 different instructors with 21 different classes. It's pretty overwhelming right now but you have until August to work your way through everything. I chose to start with the abstract class (can you tell?) taught by Connie Hozvicka. It's just a lot of fun working with a BIG canvas! :) So I thought I'd share my first go at playing big. This is on an 18" x 24" sheet of watercolor paper. I usually work in a smaller art journal. This was a stretch for me. Literally. ;)

What I like about journaling is that it's about the PROCESS and not about the PRODUCT. They stress that in these classes, too. So you can play, meditate and let whatever you're feeling just flow onto your page. That's the whole idea. ;)

I'm sure there will be pages from other classes that I'll share throughout the weeks ahead. Next up are child's play, poetry themed and self-portrait themed classes. We shall see what develops...

Sudden Flight

2011-03-31T17:41:00.003-04:00

This is my painting for Paint Party Friday. It's 12" x 12" mixed media on panel. I'm getting it posted early! It's a tribute to my mother. Her birthday is April 2 and she would have turned 71. She died suddenly seven years ago April 4. I am now able to view it like a sudden flight. One day she was with us and the next, she was gone. I wish I could have said goodbye but at least we had talked on her birthday a couple of days before.

I try to do some kind of art piece each year in honor of her birthday. Even though Spring is here, the colors seem a little muted right now. I usually cheer up and get in the flow of things after the first weeks of April have passed. So for right now, the girl in the painting is dressed for Spring but not quite feeling it...

Be sure to check out all of the participants for Paint Party Friday tomorrow. Last week there was a big response! It's fun to check out the blogs and see what everyone painted. :)

Thread: Journal Page

2011-03-27T12:30:00.000-04:00

The Thread

Something is very gently,

invisibly, silently,

pulling at me - a thread

or net of threads

finer than cobweb and as

elastic. I haven't tried

the strength of it. No barbed hook

pierced and tore me. Was it

not long ago this thread

began to draw me? Or

way back? Was I

born with its knot about my

neck, a bridle? Not fear

but a stirring

of wonder makes me

catch my breath when I feel

the tug of it when I thought

it had loosened itself and gone.

-- Denise Levertov

Jagged Bitter Jill

2011-03-25T00:11:00.001-04:00

"You live you learn...You scream you learn"

-- Alanis Morissette

This is my painting for this week's Paint Party Friday. I'm often inspired by music and this week I've been listening to a lot of it. Some of my friends and family are going through rough times right now and I don't blame them for being a little bitter. We've been able to laugh and cry together through some of the pain but there's still healing yet to get through. This was my attempt to work it out on the canvas. I will say this: it certainly was therapeutic! ;)

Check out the other entries for this week's paintings by clicking on the button in the sidebar. Last week there was a great turnout and some awesome art! I met a lot of new friends and had a wonderful time looking at every one's art.

Visual Poetry

2011-03-22T15:22:00.000-04:00

"Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?"

--from The Summer Day, by Mary Oliver

Discordant Echoes

2011-03-18T03:21:00.001-04:00

Today is the first day for Paint Party Friday. This is a painting I have been working on so I thought I would put it in today's party. :) It's 8" x 8" acrylic on canvas. I've been wanting to do another abstract and these colors were calling to me. I love the Cobalt Teal and the Quinacridone Nickel Azo Gold...YUMMY!! Those are probably my favorite colors that Golden makes. I think I have a good stash of these two colors for a while. ;)

I like to clip phrases from vintage poetry books and then use them in my art journals. I put them in a little baggie and when I'm searching for inspiration I'll look through the baggie and see what sounds good. They also come in handy as titles for my art. As I was looking through the bag, the phrase "discordant echoes" caught my eye. I just liked the sound of it and thought it sounded like a good theme. So I took it from there and this is what I ended up with.

Check out the link to Paint Party Friday to visit the blogs and see all of the paintings. It should be a good time! I'm excited to see what everyone did this week.

Confession: Journal Page

2011-03-16T16:22:00.000-04:00

More work in my BIG Moleskine. I did a version of this before in another big journal but the pages ended up being too thin and started falling apart. :( This time it was more therapeutic just to work the paint with my fingers. LOVE to do that; smoosh the paint around and let my mind wander. :) The title comes from my favorite quote by Camus: "A work of art is a confession." This is how my mind has been lately: full of jumbled thoughts going everywhere... So I thought I'd just throw them all down on a page.

More painting is in the works. If you notice the sidebar I added a new button called Paint Party Friday. It's a new blog. Check it out. Starts this Friday. Everyone is free to join in the fun. I found out about it through the awesome Victoria's blog. Folks will be adding their paintings and linking to their blogs. I'm working on my first painting for that. We'll see how it goes!

Perspective: Journal Page

2011-03-12T17:42:00.000-05:00

I have been back from my trip for a couple of days now. It was a wonderful time with my friend! As always, it was hard to say goodbye :'( But we've already made plans for spring. And there is MUCH to look forward to this summer, including many trips to her place up on Lake Erie. :)

One thing I really noticed on this trip home was my tendency to not view things in the proper perspective. I do need to work on that. It can become quite an eye opener when you lose your way on this one...

But I DID have myself a little adventure at Blick Art Supply. I went in there with my eyes wide open! Came out with lots of goodies: encaustic paint in many new colors to try, more acrylic paints in colors I can never find (graphite, cobalt blue, stainless steel!) and my favorite 2" cradled panels...FUN! :) Oh, and an over-sized Moleskine sketchbook. Yay! This is my first page from that journal.

And after the Blick adventure we made our way to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. That was probably my favorite day of the trip. That cheesecake was absolutely sinful and I loved every bite. Hmm... looking back on it now, there were a FEW things I managed to keep in the proper perspective. ;)

Broken Doll: Journal Page

2011-03-01T10:53:00.000-05:00

I always start thinking more about my Mom this time of year. Her birthday is coming up in April. She will have been gone seven years. Unbelievable. Grief can still grab me at the strangest times, even now. The photo at the top is one of my favorite of me, although it's cropped for this page. I'm sitting at a table with my Mom. I just like my expression in it. ;)

I'm heading to Ohio for another visit with my very good friend today. This is a great time to get away. But I need to get packing. I should be on the road right now. Always the procrastinator, waiting until the last minute. Is that a Taurus thing? ;)

Of course I'll have to make another stop at the Blick store while I'm there. I can't pass that up. I've already cleared the car trunk. What treasures will I find this time? I'll let you know when I get back!

Aftermath

2011-02-26T19:04:00.004-05:00

For S.

Alchemy

2011-02-21T16:34:00.002-05:00

This is my latest painting from Wyanne's class. It started out to be a Gothic type painting and somehow ended up with this witchy feel. I think it took the witchy turn after I did the background. I'm also taking Michael DeMeng's Color Wash class and the background was one of his recipes. I loved the way it turned out. She just evolved after I started working around the colors. Even little miss witch is scratching her head on that one! ;)

Wyanne has been a big help to me on this one and I want to thank her for her guidance through all the headaches. She has taught me so much in this class. I hate to see it come to an end. :( I will definitely be looking for any new classes she has to offer in the future.

Looking, Walking, Being

2011-02-17T01:47:00.001-05:00

Journal page inspired by poem of same name by Denise Levertov.

The Wall

2011-02-08T21:41:00.000-05:00

Wall

by Denise Levertov

When distant ocean's big V of silver

reaches straight up, rearing

between the hills that hold it,

don't you feel you could go and go

swift as hurricane till you

flung yourself at its wall, its

blue wall of spider silver,

and passed like Alice

into the blind mirror?

On The Fence

2011-02-06T22:48:00.000-05:00

Seems I've been doing a lot of fence-sitting lately... I thought a journal page would help work out some frustration. ;)

The Surprise

2011-01-31T12:25:00.002-05:00

This is my latest painting in the class I'm taking with Wyanne. *waving at Wyanne!* Ooh, I got busted recently. She visited my blog and read my little comment about using the last painting (Scarred: see last post) as a substitute for the assignment to do THIS painting. Ha! She knew I was just kidding, though. ;)

We were to paint whatever the word surprise meant to us. That was the assignment. Oh, that one had me stumped. I even went so far as to Google the word surprise just to get some ideas... pathetic, I know. But I started thinking about recent events and little surprises. And here's what I came up with:

I've met some awesome people on the internet. And starting tomorrow, as a matter of fact, a very special friend is launching a new artist's site called the Rabbit's Den. It is going to be so cool! And it's not just for artists. It's also for writers and poets...just check it out! So, here is what I was trying to show in my painting: As I dance through my life, down my little path, every once in a while I come across some very special people. And this friend has certainly been a very welcome and pleasant surprise!

Scarred

2011-01-21T02:18:00.001-05:00

This painting was in response to an art prompt by my good friend Rabbit. The prompt was actually a music video by Christina Perri singing the song "Jar of Hearts" (great song!). There was so much inspiration from that video alone...I just started playing around with paints and papers and ended up with this. :)

So while I've been working on this and having so much fun with it, I should have been working on my next painting assignment for my class...it has me totally stumped and I'm now looking for something else to use as an excuse not to start that painting... That's not totally true, but I am scratching my head over the assignment. Happily, my sister is in town visiting and I can put off thinking about it for a few more days at least.

If I can't come up with any other ideas, I wonder if my instructor will let me use this as my painting...may be worth a try!

Blink

2011-01-18T02:18:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know you've seen this before. A couple of versions, even... I'm taking another painting class from Wyanne called Tough Love. It's challenging (that's the tough part) and she is really a very patient teacher (that's the love).

One of the first things she did was have us look at a painting we had done and ask us what we would change about it if we could. I had done a different version of this one for a good friend in an art trade. I was going to paint a version for myself but hadn't started it yet. My plan was just to do a painting similar to his but she suggested I look at it differently.

So I thought about it and had absolutely no ideas...lol! She gave me a few and I liked her idea of a pop art look. Then she told me about a technique that she had learned and showed the class how to do it so I tried that too. Of course she did it much better but I did give it a go. ;) Anyway, I'm pretty happy with it. At least the assignment is over and I have my painting. The deal with this class is the painting isn't finished until she says it is. I haven't heard back from her yet so I think it's finished. We shall see...

Dazzled

2011-01-10T00:20:00.000-05:00

Dazzled, 7" x 9" Mixed Media on Watercolor Paper

"Still, what I want in my life

is to be willing

to be dazzled --"

from The Ponds by Mary Oliver

Dreaming

2011-01-04T00:34:00.000-05:00

8 x 8, mixed media on canvas

For J, thank you for being you...

Heavy

2011-01-02T14:48:00.000-05:00

Heavy

by Mary Oliver

That time

I thought I could not

go any closer to grief

without dying

I went closer,

and I did not die.

Surely God

had His hand in this

as well as friends.

Still, I was bent,

and my laughter,

as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.

Then my friend Daniel

(brave even among the lions),

"It's not the weight you carry

but how you carry it --

books, bricks, grief --

it's all in the way

you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,

put it down."

So I went practicing.

Have you noticed?

Have you heard

the laughter

that comes, now and again,

out of my startled mouth?

How I linger

to admire, admire, admire,

the things of this world

that are kind, and maybe

also troubled --

roses in the wind,

the sea geese on the steep waves,

a love

to which there is no reply?

Taking Flight

2010-12-30T22:00:00.000-05:00

11 x 14, Mixed Media on Canvas

The Visitor

2010-12-29T01:11:00.000-05:00

"When death comes

like the hungry bear in autumn;

when death comes and takes all the bright coins
from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door,
full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? ...

When it's over, I don't want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,

or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."

from "When Death Comes"

By Mary Oliver

Waking Up

2010-12-26T17:23:00.000-05:00

The Journey

by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets and clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life you could save.

Taking Time To Heal

2010-12-20T23:07:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my surgery. I made this journal page with that in mind. I'm nervous but thanks to the support and love of all my friends I know everything will be fine. I want to thank all of you for your kind words, your emails, your calls, and your prayers. All of them are greatly appreciated! :)

I plan to take a few days to recover and then spend some time with my family. I'm really looking forward to my sister visiting soon. We always have such fun with our movie marathons, art journaling, shopping sprees and general silliness.

Just a while ago I heard crunching of snow outside the door. It is getting kind of late and I couldn't imagine anyone visiting at this hour so I crept quietly to the front room and peeked out the window. There in the moonlight I saw three deer by the window. They were eating berries off one of the trees. They were right there in front of my window and didn't see me! We live up on a ridge and often there will be deer passing through but this is the first time I've been this close. It was such a nice surprise! And a great way to end the evening on a positive note. ;)

Dark Lady: Journal Page

2010-12-18T01:08:00.000-05:00

Been playing with collage and paint in my journal. I love using my CitraSolv pages for the backgrounds. I've torn up a few and pieced them together for this page. They have that look I just can't make with paint. I think they look like concrete here...kind of grungy. LOVE that!

This is a larger journal page; about 9 x 12. I like to work in different sizes. Found this cool sketchbook at Barnes & Noble. It had a Paris street scene on the cover. Couldn't resist that! The paper is kind of thin but when you collage, it holds up nicely. Ooh, I must stay out of there. I've been lusting after one of the Kate Spade Nook covers...I visit it every time I go into the store. Maybe hubby will get it for me for Christmas. ;)

I've also signed up for a couple of workshops coming up in January. One is with Misty Mawn (yay! finally another workshop with Misty!) You can read about it here. And another workshop is with Michael DeMeng (I love his work!) through Creative Souls Ning site. You can read about it here. So lots to look forward to in January.

I want to say Happy Birthday to my brother Jamie. Today he is a big 4-0! Ha! Don't worry, little brother, I'll always be older than you. Love ya! ;)

In My Dreams

2010-12-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

I always think of my Mom a lot this time of year. I dream about her more. She loved Christmas! ;) She would put up two trees...more if my Dad would have let her. She loved to decorate and have an open house on Christmas Eve. It was very important for her to have the entire family there that night. Others were invited, too, but the family better show up. No excuses! Her eyes would light up when we were all milling about, munching on her cookies and fudge (yummy!), usually teasing each other about something.

So sometimes in my dreams I get these letters from her. It's as if she's on this trip and she's checking in. ;) They are usually just short notes that refer to a vague house she's staying in. It's all very strange but somehow reassuring. She seems happy. She never mentions coming home but she always seems full of energy and busy. That was how she used to be before she got sick: always doing something. ;) I sometimes wish I could just join her now. But I guess we all go when it's our time.

This will be the first Christmas I won't be spending with my family. Due to my surgery being so near the holiday we will just be staying put this year and not be making the trip. But a quiet holiday won't be a bad thing. I'll just keep reading her letters... in my dreams. ;)

Pretty In Pink: Journal Page

2010-12-15T00:31:00.000-05:00

It's good to be back home! Although I already miss Columbus :( I was itching to sketch and paint and get back into my studio with all of my paints and supplies. And I picked up a BIG load of goodies while I visited the Blick Art Supply store in Columbus. :) Lots of huge canvasses, paints, and encaustic paints in many yummy colors... yes, I was in heaven!

So tonight I worked on sketching this girl. I've been in a frilly, girly mood lately. Oooh, I LOVE the color pink! So I sketched her out and painted her all up in a nice sunny background. Then scanned her into Photoshop and added some digital elements. Just playing around with pink: Pretty In Pink. ;)

I was so excited to see that Blick was selling the Caran d'Ache Neocolor II crayons individually. And I found THE perfect shade: flesh! LOVE it. Used it here on the girl. Blends great with all of the other colors I have. Now I am in my happy place. ;)

I have to get caught up in my painting class and in the art journal group. So much catching up to do. Just wanted to take a little fun time to play tonight. Also had a close call on my trip back due to bad weather but I DID make it home all in one piece. So I hope to get back in the groove within the next few days.

Highwire

2010-12-05T11:24:00.000-05:00

In my highwire days

I can see all the way

from Highwire Days by Psychedelic Furs

I'm off on my trip today! This is how I'll be feeling on the road. LOL! I've been reading about a lot of fatalities lately on the interstate I'll be travelling. It reminded me of this guy...up on the highwire. Hopefully I'll be able to see all the way if there is any danger looming ahead. ;)

This was a digital manipulation I put together a while back. I really liked it. It was a combination of an image I was able to get using the CitraSolv method (man on highwire) and then digitally added the rest. I have a fresh batch of CitraSolv pages that I've packed away for my trip. Of course now the house smells like oranges but hubby can deal with that. ;)

So, let the games begin! I hope to check in at least once from my little retreat. Have a great week everyone. I'll be playing dodge cars for a while out on the interstate but I hope to maneuver everything just fine.

Dream Wonderland

2010-12-04T12:35:00.000-05:00

So I go from monsters to Wonderland! You just never know what you'll find here. ;) I woke up this morning to a beautiful snowy wonderland. It's still snowing...so pretty! But it can stop now. I have to head out on the road tomorrow and I don't want too much of the pretty white stuff to hamper my trip.

It's strange but I had a wonderland sort of dream last night. Very much like the scene here, only it wasn't wintertime in my dream. Without going into too much detail, there was a forest and there were rabbits. That's all I'm saying. LOL! The weather today and the dream last night...I had to put together something art-related!
By the way, the elements for this digital piece came from Tangie Baxter at Scrapbook Graphics.

Lots of preparations on tap for today: getting ready for my trip, projects I want to take with me. I love working on my art while I'm on vacation. I'm working on some projects for a special friend and I'm so excited about them that I'm taking one of the projects with me. So I have to make sure I have all the supplies I need for that.

I see the snow is still falling so I must get out and do my errands while I can. Hopefully it will stop soon and the roads will be clear for me tomorrow. Wish me luck that I'll get there safely! I'll post something next week. There just may not be a photo to go with it. ;) For today, though, I will enjoy a little of what's left of my Dream Wonderland...

Monsters

2010-12-03T10:21:00.000-05:00

The monsters are buried down deep inside

You never know when they're satisfied...

From "Monsters" by Hurricane Bells

This piece was an experiment I did using CitraSolv and National Geographic magazine pages. I'm very happy with the result! I will mount this to a canvas panel and do only a little more to it; but not much more with paint. The original came out with just the one figure in the center of the page. I digitally added the other "monsters". I know, in my case, I have more than one monster that needs looking after. ;)

Usually I will tear the papers and use them in my art journal, paintings or for collage. But this was such a nice surprise! I had to keep it all intact and use as is. My inner monsters agreed. We will keep this one as a reminder to make sure that they are satisfied from time to time... ;)

Barriers

2010-12-01T14:41:00.000-05:00

Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find

all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.

-- Rumi

I'm rushing around getting ready for my upcoming trip to Columbus this weekend. So many preparations and so many things left to do here before I can leave. But I wanted to at least post a digital piece before I left.

I've talked about the painting class I'm taking. It's about to end and our final assignment has us thinking hard about certain aspects of our life. Without giving away too much of the class, we are to do some soul searching. And that has led me to discussions with friends about their lives, etc. The whole issue of barriers keeps coming up. Barriers that we put up in our lives to keep people out, to protect ourselves, to push people away. Seems like we all do it.

I'm going to visit my BFF this weekend and we are the queens of barrier building. So, yes, barriers are ever present for us anyway. So this weekend I am going to try and work on maybe chipping away a little at some of my barriers and see where that gets me. Being with my good friends, laughing, in the city I love, that has to be a good start I think. I'll let you know if I make any progress. ;)

By the way, this digital piece was put together mainly with elements from Lily's "End of Love" kit at After 5 Designs. I just love this background paper. It is what drew me to the kit in the first place.

Yesterday

2010-11-28T23:08:00.001-05:00

When we were young we used to say

That you only hear the music

when your heart begins to break

Now we are the kids from yesterday...

from "The Kids From Yesterday"

by My Chemical Romance

This started out as a journal page. Then as I painted the sketch I started to like it more. I added the art papers I made from my CitraSolv stash and then added paint to those and really liked where this was going. So now I have this in my art journal and may do another one on canvas. :o)

I bought the CD by My Chemical Romance over the weekend and really like a lot of the songs on it. Among them was the one I quote from here. Another one I just can't get out of my head is "Scarecrow". I'm going to have to do an art piece on that one; it keeps calling my name. I'll be blasting this CD all the way to Columbus this weekend, I can already tell.

This piece just makes me happy. It reminds me of myself, both as I am now and as I was younger. Escaping into music when things get to be too much. And the sunglasses just make me happy! I used to always have lots of pairs of sunglasses in the car. They were kind of like purses: I could never have too many! ;)

I worked on this collage all evening while watching football with hubby. I had the art journal spread out in front of me and all of my papers, paints, gel medium, etc. It was relaxing and brought back a lot of memories. It was funny, though, because I was listening to the iPod as I worked on it, too! I guess some things never DO change! ;)

It's been a low key weekend and today was a nice ending to it. I hope you all had a safe and happy holiday weekend. I'm really looking forward to next Sunday. Another trip to Columbus for a week. I have to get a lot done around here this week before my trip but I hope to post at least once or twice more before I leave. I'll have computer access while I'm there so all is not lost! ;) Stay tuned...

When The Rain Comes

2010-11-26T16:49:00.000-05:00

More art journal work. The girl is an illustration by Kat Macleod. I LOVE her work. I want to draw figures like that when I grow up! ;) I cut and pasted her in. Then gave her a colorful umbrella, raindrops and background. I wasn't really sad when I put the page together; it must have been all the rain we've been getting over the past few days. I was in more of a laid back, funky, colorful mood! ;)

I have tons of fabric in my studio and sometimes I'll incorporate some in my art. But for my journal work I usually just make a copy of it and paste it in. I found this tie-dye looking piece that was kind of cool so I copied it and used it here. I thought it suited the girl pretty well. ;)

I'm trying to get organized in my studio again (still?). That's an ongoing project that never really lasts for long. Things tend to get scattered and piles accumulate when I'm painting. Right now it's hazardous to even walk in there. :( So I have to force myself to go through the piles and set things in some kind of order so I can get back to work. I've never been a neat, tidy, organized person and this late in life I'm not going to change. But I do need to take a breather now and then to at least clear a walkable path through the chaos. I think it's hard for me to concentrate on other projects when I know the studio is in shambles. It's always nagging at me in the back of my mind... strange but that's how it is!

Still working on some special projects for special friends. I'm a bit slow in my progress but I'll get there. I'm having a quiet holiday weekend but that's the way I like it. I hope you all are enjoying yours as well!

Bring On The Dancing Inkblots: Journal Page

2010-11-23T14:48:00.000-05:00

I thought I would lighten things up a bit today and send in the dancing inkblots. Ha! How fun are these? This is my journal page for the current prompt: "shapes" in the Journal Journey group at Roses. I decided to drop India Ink on the page and see what developed. I thought they looked like dancers... I let it sit for awhile and last night, watching the dreadful football game with hubby, I started playing with these little guys and began to giggle. They just came to life, dancing across the page. ;)

My favorite is the gal in the turquoise. LOVE her expression, if I do say so myself! ;) She's just having too much fun. Anyway, I thought I would send just a little fun to lighten up your Tuesday. :o)

Far Away

2010-11-22T01:59:00.000-05:00

For S.

This is a painting I did for a friend in Ohio. At this time of year I realize how much I miss all of my friends. I'm so happy that I am going to get another visit to Columbus before my surgery! I am lucky enough to be able to see the ol' gang again the second week of December. I plan on remembering every single minute of it. Sometimes I feel like I am just so far away from everyone, but really I'm not. I'll trade a four hour drive for a week of bliss anytime! ;)

I think I'm finally caught up on my painting class now. I have a few other personal projects that I've taken on that I'm very excited about so I'm keeping busy behind the scenes. It looks like I'll probably not be making the trip home for Christmas, though. Surgery will be a few days before... but that's okay. That time of year I would just like to spend some quiet time here for a change.

So things are slowly moving along. There are some other works that I hope to be able to post soon! :)

Experimenting

2010-11-20T01:11:00.000-05:00

"... a lifetime isn't long enough for the beauty of this world

and the responsibilities of your life ...

scatter the flowers over the graves, and walk away,

be good-natured and untidy in your exuberance ...

in the glare of your mind, be modest,

and beholden to what is tactile, and thrilling."

--Mary Oliver

First I want to thank everybody who has sent me their well wishes. You are all awesome! Thank you! I will be having surgery in December and hopefully be on the road to recovery after that. ;)

I haven't been updating my blog very much because I've been busy painting! Ooh, I am having so much fun in Wyanne's class and doing a little experimenting on my own. We are learning a ton of new techniques, getting some challenging assignments and I'm really just soaking it all up. I hope to have something to show in a couple of days.

This is a digital piece I put together with some elements from Scrapbook Graphics. The background is a compilation of some of my art papers merged together with papers from various digital kits. As always, Mary Oliver's words are an inspiration to me.

Reflecting

2010-11-14T17:22:00.000-05:00

I'm finding myself having to make a few decisions. Some health problems have come up and now they loom overhead like vultures. I hate hospitals and doctor visits. That's ironic since I worked in a hospital lab for years analyzing blood. I guess it's different when you're not the patient. ;)

Today I'm trying to stay busy tidying up my studio space. Ooh, it's gotten out of control again. Part of this activity is avoiding the latest assignment in the painting course I'm taking. It's a challenging assignment and I'm frustrated that I can't figure out what to do with it. I think my mind is just too full right now. So cleaning is always something that can be busy work and productive at the same time. After I exhaust myself with that, I think I'll just take a nice hot bath and relax with my iPod. Music seems to always take me to a nice place! :)

Oh, speaking of that, I made the mistake of checking out iTunes yesterday. I discovered so many new (to me) bands and songs... so my iPod is full of new music now. They are so sneaky how they entice you. After you download a song you like, then they suggest other bands you might like. They get me every time. ;)

At least Fall has returned. A lot of people were excited that the warm temperatures were back this week. But I love the cool weather. It's soothing to me. I like the crisp air blowing, the leaves falling...it's my favorite time of year. The yard is full of leaves now and even the deck is full of them so maybe I'll go out and rake for awhile. Anyway, Sundays are good for reflecting...that's what I'm doing today.

A Different Realm

2010-11-12T13:52:00.005-05:00

"I seem to stand outside the realm of God's mercy."
-- John Cheever

I can so relate! This quote has stayed with me for decades. I have a bookcase devoted to writers and poets, along with their journals and notebooks. I love reading their journals and seeing inside their heads. Those journals fascinate me. It surprises me sometimes to see that these favorite writers and poets that I admired so much struggled with a lot of the same pain and insecurities that I do. Sometimes when I come across a line that stays with me I'll write it down in a notebook I keep. From time to time I'll look it over and it gives me ideas for my art or it will give me my own starting points to write about.

I woke up this morning and just had to paint. Had to. I haven't felt this strong an urge to get to the canvas in a long time. I tossed and turned last night with so many thoughts in my head. So I was surprised I was driven to the studio so early. Cheever's quote kept coming to me all night and I dreamed strange dreams intertwined with that theme. Dreams about childhood and all the crap that was hammered in my head. Without going into gory details, suffice it to say that my Dad has always made it quite clear that no matter what I do I am never going to measure up to his expectations. So I feel quite at home with Cheever on his thoughts.

On my Dad's last visit we had another terrible argument. We've always had an antagonistic relationship ever since I was a teen. I think it's the Taurus in me. ;) Mom used to always act as the buffer. Since she's been gone, I've tried to make more of an effort to be, I don't know, more civil. So I was trying to point out some of the good things I've done: being the only one of five children to graduate from a university, made it on my own without ever asking him for a dime, done pretty darn well for myself, etc.

All I got in response was more of the same disappointment, blah blah blah. So, thinking over all of this, I realize I am never going to please him. And thanks to a very dear, very wise friend (thank you, David!) I am reminded that you can't please other people; only yourself. You do the best you can and you go on.

So, fast forward to this morning. I'm painting away and end up with this painting: I call it A Different Realm. In this realm there is room for mercy. For everyone. ;)

Working Through It

2010-11-09T01:32:00.000-05:00

This Gentle Surgery

Once more the black blade of a morning breeze

glides almost too easily through me,

and from the scuffle I've been sutured to

some flap of me is freed: I am severed

like a simile: an honest tenor

trembling toward the vehicle I mean

to be: a blackbird licking half notes

from the muscled, sap-damp branches

of the sugar maple tree... though I am still

a part of any part of every particle

of me, though I'll be softly reconstructed

by the white gloves of metonymy,

I grieve: there is no feeling in a cut

that doesn't heal a bit too much.

by Malachi Black

Just doing a bit more journal work. I can't seem to do much to please some people this week. Trying to work through it. ;)

Ride A Painted Pony

2010-11-07T12:06:00.000-05:00

In the painting course I'm taking we are not supposed to give away too much about the content. So, let's just say we are doing a little work with our inner child. One thing I loved, loved, loved as a child was going to the county fair. I loved to ride the carousel. That was my favorite ride. (Well, that and the Tilt-A-Whirl, but that's another story).

I would love to walk around the ride and very carefully pick out my favorite horse and my Mom would lift me up and place me on it. Then I would make her leave the ride and stand where I could see her, off to the side, and wait for me until the ride was over. I would just hug the horse's neck, giddy with joy, listening to that magical music anticipating when the ride would start.

So we are channeling that little girl again this week in our painting exercises. While I had a little of that magic still in me, I decided to do this little digital piece. My friend Kimmie provided a starter image of the girl in a pink dress. In Kimmie's image, the girl is walking in a field of green grass. We were told to put her in any world we wished. So I put her on a carousel pony and had her look back, just for a little while, to a magical world where she's a little girl again and her Mom is still standing a few feet away laughing, watching over her, and she knows she is safe and loved and there's not a care in the world.

Wild Geese: A Journal Page

2010-11-05T12:54:00.001-04:00

I've been working a lot more in my art journal lately. This morning I opened to this background that I had painted yesterday. If you could look into my soul right now, these would be the colors you'd see. When I woke up, I had this poem on my mind. It's one of my all time favorites: "Wild Geese," by Mary Oliver. I remember the first time I read it. It was like someone literally woke me up from a stupor. The first five lines really hit home. After being raised with quite the opposite message, this was a lifesaver. I adore this poem and have it posted above my art table. If you click on the photo you can get a better view of the poem. This is just where I am today...

And The Music Plays On

2010-11-03T13:42:00.000-04:00

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in gray

And the sun will set for you

So I'm obsessed with music lately. These are lyrics from "Shadow of The Day," one of my favorite songs from Linkin Park. Do you ever get a song in your head and it just won't leave? This one has stayed with me for days. But I really love it so it's okay that it's playing over and over. And maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm also playing it repeatedly on my iPod while I write or work in my art journal. ;)

I'm still trying to adjust to a regular schedule now that I'm home from my trip. I'm also trying to get my emotions back on track. So listening to music, thinking about a lot I left behind leaves me sad. I need to move on and rejoin the here and now.

I knew I'd be feeling like this when I returned and I was hoping I could find a distraction. I didn't really plan it quite this close but I'm taking an online painting course. The first week happened to fall while I was away so I'm already a week behind. But this will make me focus. I thought it sounded like a great class. It's called Paint Free and it's taught by Wyanne. She wants to help you develop your unique painting style; not one that mimics someone else. Well, we shall see what develops! Stay tuned.

That's one of the things I do like about digital art. It's nice to do in Photoshop what I wish I could do with paint and brush. So if I could paint properly, I'd do a piece like the digital one above. ;) I did happen to stop at a real, bricks and mortar DickBlick Art Supply store while in Columbus. Ooh, I found some yummy encaustic paints that I had not seen in their catalog. Yep, I grabbed them up and now I'm trying to decide what to paint with them. So, I'm thinking all of this through. I'm sure something will come to me and I'll be back to "normal" soon.

Fear of Flying

2010-11-01T14:36:00.000-04:00

I'm back home from my trip. Got a late start on the road Sunday due to my procrastinating. Eventually I had to just get in the car and go. We both had tears in our eyes as we hugged and said goodbye. :( But I have another visit planned for sometime early December. So that is something to look forward to.

I wish I could travel more. I mean really travel. There is an encaustic workshop planned for this summer that I really would love to attend. It has the best teachers lined up, some of my very good online buddies are attending, all of the incentive in the world to go. Except...it's in Oregon. And I'm in Indiana. So I'd have to fly. That means an airplane. I'm already having a panic attack just thinking about it.

I have flown before. It wasn't pretty. My first time was with my husband. I figured that would be okay. It was a short flight from Columbus to Madison, WI. No biggie. We didn't even have to change planes. He didn't think it was a good idea that I insisted on a window seat. But I didn't want the aisle; plus I couldn't help myself. I had to look out the window. So we're flying along, me with both hands glued to the armrests. He kept trying to talk to me but I just kept trying to remember to breathe. Then it got bumpy. The plane would jump, then fall.

That did it. I started to panic. I looked at him and he had this horrified look on his face. "Are you crying?" he asked. Well, yeah! I was terrified. Who knew you would be flopping around in the air like that? He kept saying it was fine. It was just turbulence. No, it was not fine! It was a nightmare. I just closed my eyes. The flight attendant came by. He assured her it was okay; that it was my first time flying. It was humiliating (for both of us). And this was a short flight. The only thing I could think of (besides falling out of the sky) was that we'd have to do this again on the trip home. I could not believe he had talked me into this.

So, fast forward to a few summers ago. He was going to London for a business trip. All my life, the one thing I've always wanted to do was visit London. He asked if I wanted to go because I would need to get a passport and make a lot of preparations beforehand. Well of course I wanted to go. But I knew I wasn't going to. No way was I going to be able to endure an international flight. Because that would incorporate my other fear: water! That would mean flying over water. Just give me my heart attack now and get it over with.

I think he was actually relieved when I told him no. So he went on and I stayed home beating myself up. He would call, describing all of the places I'd never see. At least I have the photos. But of course it's not the same. He is planning another trip back there in a few years. Maybe I'll figure out a way to get there yet. But I digress... This encaustic workshop would be such a great time and I would learn so much.

I am so hampered by my fears. Not just the flying but others, as well. And all of the rationalizing doesn't help. You know, when people say "Oh, it's the safest way to travel...blah, blah, blah." My friend and I were talking about this during my visit. She asked what, specifically, about flying scared me so much. I said it was the crashing and burning part. "So I guess I'm really afraid of dying," I said. Hmm... The conversation took a different turn there. That meant another bottle of wine and then we got sidetracked.

So, I'm getting advice from everyone: from different drugs to take to getting liquored up, and everything in between. I'm not sure how those would work out since I'd be travelling alone. But I'll sort it all out and see what I can come up with.

The art piece at the top is a combination of a few of my art papers that I merged together in Photoshop and then printed out onto silk. I LIKE! :) When I think about my fears, these colors came to mind, and this piece is what I came up with. I only wish it were this easy to get rid of them!

Impressions

2010-10-28T15:20:00.000-04:00

This is one of the few posts that I don't have a photo to accompany it. I'm still on my vacation and I'm using my friend's computer. I'm on my own for a little while today so I'm taking advantage of the time to work in my art journal a little bit. I brought along a few supplies for background pages and played with those this morning.

I've been working more in my writing journal. I think it's all of the memories bombarding me as a result of being back in Columbus. Ooh it's nice being here again! Although I was surprised that I've actually gotten lost a few times driving around. I've never had a very good sense of direction but, in my defense, the city has grown. Yes, some people would say Columbus is not that big of a city but to me it's just the right size. I'm soaking it in!

My friend and I are having the best time. We are staying up way too late, sleeping in, laughing until we cry... and this is going on every day. It's so therapeutic. Every now and then I'll be struck by something she says when she describes me. It's like she's talking about someone else. I'll file that thought away and we'll move on. One night she was on the phone with another friend and I overheard her talking about our visit (I swear I was not eavesdropping!) and she was describing the different contradictions about me. They were all very complimentary but I thought they were funny as seen through her eyes.

I've been writing this morning and thinking over a few of these impressions. I guess it's true that I see myself a certain way and my friend sees other sides of me that I really am not even aware of. But I notice when I describe some of the contradictions in her personality she has the same reaction, so maybe it's just that we know each other so well. We often finish each other's sentences and can even tell what the other is thinking by just a look. Yes, we have been very close friends for many years.

Today I'm taking my camera out and hoping to get some photos of the city and the surrounding area. It's nice and chilly outside, the way I like it. I packed all of these fuzzy warm sweaters and jackets and when I got here it was 75 to 80 degrees everyday. :( Now the weather is starting to cooperate!

I'm itching to make some art! When I get back home I'll be able to let loose in the studio. I am gathering all of these impressions in my various journals and I can maybe pull them together in some art pieces when I return home. Right now I'm still enjoying my friends, these crazy hours we're keeping and a few more days of just breathing it all in.

Surrendering To Dreams

2010-10-24T11:13:00.000-04:00

Little Diary of Getting Old: VIII

And then at night, when old,

we start having vague pointless

scraps of dreams that lead us

to this place or that, since even

our failing senses insist on

outings: and lost friends reappear,

sleepwalking through the stupor

of surrendered existence...

Carlo Betocchi

Translated from the Italian by Geoffrey Brock

This is part of a poem that really took my breath away as I read it. I go through phases where I seem to be having these dreams that are so real. They usually involve my Mom. In them I know she's dead but there she is sitting there talking to me, looking like she always did. Those are the toughest ones.

And she has been in my dreams almost every night. They are not really about her; she's just in them. I think it's because I'm leaving today to go for a week's visit back home. Well, not home, really. Back to Ohio. I'm visiting my closest friend who I haven't seen in nearly five years. We get to have a week of just "girl time". She's got lots of crazy things planned, old friends I'll be reunited with. This will be good!

But driving the four hours to Ohio, all the grief always comes back. It has been six years now since Mom's been gone. Some days it still feels like a hammer hits me in the stomach, taking my breath away. And I realize all over again that I've lost her. And so I try to put on a brave front and smile for my friend. Her mother just turned 92 and lives near her. She sees her everyday and they are still very close. I try not to wonder why my mother was taken at age 64 every time I see someone else with their mother.

So in my dreams, lately, my mother is just on the periphery. She's there but not really participating. She's just with me, I guess; a presence. I painted this little piece with that in mind. The girl represents me and the glow around her is the love and warmth of a mother that never leaves. Now I can head off on my trip in a better frame of mind. Maybe with a little extra presence with me to keep me company during my drive.

Light and Dark: Two Journal Pages

2010-10-22T09:31:00.001-04:00

I am doing a lot of playing in my art journals lately. Maybe it's because the prompts are making my Muse happy! The top spread is from the latest prompt in the Journal Journey group: "the darkness". Yay! Loved that prompt! I sketched the face and then added the body (minus the head) from a fashion magazine.

The background on the facing page is a piece of CitraSolv paper I had in my stash that I added some Caran d'Ache Neocolor II crayons to. I didn't know how well the CitraSolv paper would take to the crayons and the water but I was surprised at how well it held up to the addition of both. Good to know for future reference!

The words are from the song "Monsters" by Hurricane Bells. LOVE that song! Ooh, I had so much fun with this prompt. I would love to make a little family of these ghoulish people! ;) I've had this Moleskine journal laying around for ages and forgot how much abuse you can give the pages. So I plan on using it a lot more!

This next page is in response to the free class I'm taking from Tam at her Ning network. Click on the button in my sidebar called Art, Heart and Healing for the info. You can join anytime and it's jam packed full of cool journaling techniques. She's incredibly generous to offer so much content for free. Check out her site. The first class alone covers how to draw a stylized portrait, paint it, and painting and collaging a journal background. And, if that wasn't enough, she talks about healing in your life and ways to journal about that. And that's just what's covered in the first week! Did I mention this is a FREE course? The generosity of some artists is just mind-boggling. So wonderful and refreshing!

So here is my girl for the first week. She's decided to be positive and go out and make music and dream dreams! I've used this quote before in my art because I just love it.

That's one of the things I love about art journals. You can play with the different sides of your emotions: the dark AND the light. You can be messy, be funny, be serious, just be YOU!

Warhol Encaustic

2010-10-20T16:02:00.000-04:00

Here's a new twist on an old art piece I did. Remember my Warhol collage? This was the one I did with the Citra Solv papers (and it won their contest!). Here is the original on canvas:

I've been reading about applying encaustics over habotai silk and have been wanting to give it a try. So I made a copy of this collage onto a sheet of habotai silk and then applied that to a 12" x 12" Claybord that had two coats of encaustic gesso on it. Then I painted different layers of encaustic paints and medium over the silk. Worked like a dream. Oh, I love the possibilities of painting over the silk in the future...

So if you know anything about Andy Warhol you know he liked to drip various things onto his canvas. We'll just leave it at that. I improvised and dripped encaustic paint onto this one. ;) LOVED how it turned out and now he's joining his twin in our living room. Hubby says enough Andy and please put something else in the living room. He prefers abstracts to paintings of actual people. We'll see...